Know that feeling where you know a thing, but then some (other) thing comes along, and “woomph”, you are in a whole new depth of knowing that thing (the first thing)?
I think you call it an epiphany.
Let me tell you what I have just deeply re-realised about curiosity and asking great questions.
I have always placed great stock in the power of the question. Striving to really listen and ask great questions is what I do in my work with groups and clients and try to pass on to others in my
Extraordinary Facilitation courses. As Einstein said:
“ If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper Question, I could solve the problem in less than 5 minutes “
And curiosity is pretty much always one of the key values and behaviours that I encourage with groups. Because, if facilitation is about bringing about a change, then you need a powerful
tool to overcome all the uncertainty, fear, discomfort and cynicism that change can unearth.
It is often a good idea to hang out in
that slightly uncomfortable “In between” place where you don’t know the answer for a while:
“Because the best path out of the messiness is rarely the quick fix that first rushes to mind.”
Sometimes you have to “live the question” to enable you to see what actually is, what is emerging of its own accord, or what creative opportunity there really is. Sometimes as a facilitator you manage to embody and share the courage that the group needs. Perhaps by:
Here are some behaviours that I think help a group “do” curiosity:
And in my Outdoor experiential work, paying attention and noticing is a core behaviour that leads to great connection with nature and yourself.
“It’s like you ask your body and the world around you – “what is really going on?” And you patiently wait for an answer.”
But this week I read some thoughts from 8 shields, an organisation that promotes nature connection, and that’s when it all came together. Matt tells a story:
“My daughter developed an impressive awareness of the birds in our neighborhood [sic] without trying to… [She had] no special interest in birds and she never carries binoculars… Despite this, over the past few years she has managed to find several rare birds that even dedicated birders might struggle to find…
I believe it’s partly due to the power of routine questions asked over time.
…[I’ve received] mentoring from Jon Young. One of the first things he did was challenge me to regularly listen for the quietest sound.” It seemed natural to bring my daughter into this routine as well. “…Upon hearing something I would ask, What was that I just heard? In the beginning she often hadn’t noticed the sound, so we would stand quietly for a moment to see if we could hear it again.”
But over time, …“I was regularly surprised at how much she noticed, even when it seemed like she wasn’t paying any attention at all.”…I don’t think she ever realized the significance, but “…a simple question asked routinely over months and years led my daughter to develop an unconscious habit of paying attention to birds.
She cannot really explain it, but I think the look and sound of our regular birds form a baseline she now recognizes at a subconscious level. When an unusual bird shows up, it stands out as different and draws her conscious attention.”
So, routine questions are obviously a powerful way to cultivate a deeper nature connection. But,
what if this power was applied to other area of your life – to your emotional intelligence, for example?
What if a boss developed a routine question: “What is the smallest voice in this workplace?”
What if a facilitator asked a question: “what is the least heard emotion in this gathering?”
Over time you could cultivate unconscious superpowers!
This way of learning reminded me of one of my favourite Books, Doris Lessing’s Mara and Dan. Doris tells us the story of how Mara learns in a reimagined Africa after a future ice age. In the absence of formal schooling, a game is used in which children are asked repeatedly, “What did you see today?” The child learns to observe and tell stories about her world.
This is the basis of her Mara developing the knowledge and skills she needs in her post-apocalyptic world.
This “pedagogy” has been written about by scholars and this game is compared to Henry James’s use of a child’s perspective in “What Maisie Knew”, to strategies for unveiling and “naming” the world in Paulo Freire’s ”Pedagogy of the Oppressed”, and to ideas about teaching in Idries Shah’s “The Sufis” and “Learning How to Learn”. (Lessing herself was brought up around Sufi thinking).
That was the “woomph!”. Cultivating curiosity is an act of radical survival! It’s not just about noticing birds, or being a better facilitator. It’s about a better humanity.
I hope you get this and go out and curiously experiment with the action of routine curiosity.
Imagine taking time to nurture yourself and share nature connection techniques with like-minded wildsters, over 2 chilly outside days and cosy indoor nights, all near the home of the Kokako. Whether you choose to lead a session, or just join in, you will not regret dedicating midwinter 2018 to re-wilding yourself.
Who it is for
This gathering is for 12 or so people who are keen to share their nature connection skills with each other while celebrating mid-winter. You will already be practising or developing your nature connection style and have an open approach to learning and sharing in this growing practice. The “open space” format means that anyone can lead a session and choose which sessions to participate in. Liana Stupples will be your host, weaving the weekend together. Get in touch with Liana to apply for the limited spaces for this event.
We will on the edge of Pureora Forest Park and near the Timber Trail off road cycle route between te Kuiti and Taumaranui. This area has been described as “one of the most significant sites of natural and cultural history interest in New Zealand”.
Our base will be the rustic self-catering Forge at Black Fern Lodge situated on 5 acres, surrounded by the Ongarue River and a majestic waterfall. The Forge has bunk style accommodation, but separate rooms are available for extra, if you get in early.
Ideas for things to do
That is just a few ideas for a start. What ideas will you bring?
You will make your own way there, but we will endeavour to arrange car sharing offers. Arrive sometime Friday, leave Sunday or Monday (tbc).
Once there, there is a minibus to transport us. You may want to bring a mountain bike.
For two days and two nights the cost is only $250
How to apply
Get in touch with Liana. A 50% (*) deposit secures your place. Once you are accepted she will host an online discussion to help us create a mutually awesome weekend. There will be a detailed gear list.
*Deposits are non-refundable, but can be transferred to another person.
** You are recommended to have your own insurance
Here is a very exciting idea I am working on. You can download the powerpoint Paekakariki-Wildplay-idea
Late September and 12 brave souls keen to find out more about being a nature connection Guide, gathered by the sea in Paekakariki.
Over two days they explored with all their senses, shared skills, told stories in a teepee, soaked in wild water hot tub while watching the sunrise, ate too much cake, tried out their new techniques on each other and laughed, cried and learned about themselves, each other, this place and how to guide.
Here is some of what participants had to say:
“The balance [of Liana’s facilitation] was beautiful; humorous, relaxed, aware of the group, organised, GENEROUS, and such valuable personal anecdotes and stories. It’s wonderful to learn from someone who walks the talk”
More information about the course here